Gaga is the new fleurs du mal. It has no conscience and therefore engages in no moral review, but this is apt as we in the Hype(r)(d) modern world have given up reviewing yesterday’s orgasm. Gaga has no romantic roots and therefore can never lead to heartbreak. Marketers have us yearning long past heartbreak. It makes no sense and ends the search for sense with a “Gaga, ooh, la la” that completes the project of “Dada, da da da.” Millennials go to find the bad romance never touched by aged hands, never witnessed by yesterday’s eyes, the kind of romance that escapes all the dead connections, all that history once had to offer, the kind of romance that ends romance. The bad romance Lady Gaga yearns for is yearned for by those who are themselves unleashed from any narrative except what they choose to recognize. The world of Gaga unfriends the dead past. More the lady for that, no? “Gaga, ooh, la la.”

The worst part is, it’s not even right - all signs point to Lady Gaga soon approaching a new level of sincerity, the likes of which (Taylor Swift aside) haven’t been seen in mainstream pop for a long time. Just goes to show, being an apparent expert(?) on the field(?) of postmodernism means little if you don’t actually listen to the music.

Repeat after me: Lady Gaga is not a sexual nihilist.